How to love a woman

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together. But if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze, and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

~ Bob Marley

Blog name change!

Previously:  Being 28

That can only mean one thing…

♪ ♫ Joyeux anniverssaire, Parabéns, feliz cumpleaños, สุขสันต์วันเกิด, geseënde verjaarsdag, 생일 축하, xronia polla, སྐྱེས་སྐར་ཉིན་བཀྲ་ཤིས་བདེ་ལེགས།, buon compleanno, 祝你(or 我)生日快樂, maligayang kaarawan, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEE!!!!!  ♬ ♩

A thing to note about me.. my birthday lasts 36 hours.  It’s only fair as it has to cover all the time zones I’ve lived in  😉

My last full year of being in my 20’s.  I was originally going to write a little piece reflecting on my last 29 years, but then that makes it seem like I’m saying goodbye to my “youth”, whereas what I should be embracing my future, blessed for every nanosecond of my life.

Thank you God, for every single person, and every single thing in my life.  My family, N, my friends.  For all those who are in my life, and for those who used to be part of it.  Thank you for past every moment, and for all those yet to come.

Be present

I took a seminar a few years ago with a good friend of mine, and one of the main mantras the presenter kept repeating was, “Be Present.

I think that is so relevant, especially now since most of us have become so dependent on technology.  Waiting for the bus?  Pull out your Blackberry to BBM your friends, catching up on the latest news since you last spoke the night before.  On a train?  Watch movies or shows on your laptop to pass the time with laughter, rather than boredom.  Stuck in traffic?  Turn to your iPhone to post an angry update via Facebook about how stupid people shouldn’t be allowed to drive.

I’m guilty of all of the above and more.  We don’t take time to appreciate the moment anymore.  Last night while lying in bed trying to sleep, my mind was wandering down Thinking Too Much Lane.  Stepping foot back into the office after having been away for 3 weeks (horror!), how I have a new beautiful iPhone 4s waiting for me at home when I get back (an early birthday gift from my parents – YAY!!), planning our trip to the US for my friend’s wedding in September, visiting both Georgia and NYC (first time bridesmaid!).. My mind just wouldn’t stop!

Then it hit me.

I was in a warm bed, cuddled next to N, staying in a lovely house in the mountains of Lozere, France.  France!  I also have to highlight “cuddled next to N” because it’s not something he and I can take for granted, having been in a long distance relationship for most of our almost 2 years and 2 months together.  Our trip has given us 3 beautiful weeks together.  That’s the most time we have had with each other EVER since the start of our relationship.  I should be relishing in this time, feeling lucky, NOT anxious about things that haven’t even happened yet!  I brought myself back to the present, to the moment, listening to N’s heartbeat, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, and I slowly drifted off to sleep, lulled by the sound of his breathing.

I am reminded of this now, while on a 2.5 hour bus ride from Lozere to Clermand Ferrand.  If I was lost in my iPhone, or watching Modern Family on my laptop, I’d be inexcuseably missing out on the beautiful sights this part of the country has to offer.  The snow capped mountain tops, partially frozen rivers, horses standing valiantly upon white fields, long icicles hanging delicately from cliffs, small clusters of towns spread scenically over the landscape

Gorgeous.  Seeing and appreciating all this, with N sleeping in the crook of my elbow.

(Yes, he’s passed out.  He can sleep in any position, and it never ceases to make me chuckle.  This is one of the less entertaining ones, but I still couldn’t resist taking a photo).

If you look at the bigger picture, all those moments add up.  Look at how much we can, and do miss out on.  You can put a pause on technology, but no matter how advanced we get, we can’t ever put a pause on time.  We need to learn how to be present.  To be with, and live in the moment.  To appreciate where we are, who we are with, and what is happening right then and there.  This reminds me of another mantra that should we should all remember.  “This too shall pass.”  Whether things are great, or they could be better, the moment, and everything encompassing this moment, will pass.

So bring your eyes up, tune your brain to now, your senses, and release yourself to the moment.

(A side note:  I know it’s ironic of me to be typing about losing out on living in the moment, while on a bus, but when you get hit with the inspiration to write, you just gotta roll with the punch.  I’m going to stop now though because starting to feel ill from motion sickness, and I still have a 4 hour train ride to tackle after this.)

So happy

I really am.  I’m beaming from the inside out 😀  My heart can’t stop smiling, my brain stop thinking about him, and my heart can’t stop missing him.  He was here from one weekend to the next.  A few days before that, I was with him from one weekend to the next, plus a few days, and a week before that, we spent a weekend together.  I’ve been so spoiled and getting used to being with him almost all the time.  I gets harder and harder to part, and I curse the distance more with every “bye” but I know we will be together in the future.  He only gives me confidence when we are together.  I love him so much that my blood is just singing.  I’m truly the luckiest person in this world.  To be blessed with a family like mine, friends like mine, and a love like mine.  Even though we have our ups and downs, the most important thing I can never forget is that he is doing everything he can to be with me.  He spends time with my parents, both together and one-on-one, he told my Dad he wants to marry me the second time they met, he is spreading the word and his resume to bring himself home to me, he talks about me to everyone and how we both know we will get married to each other, and throughout the fights we have, he is still there.  He hasn’t walked away.  Despite what he says some times, his actions show that he is here.  For me.  For us.  I’m so so so lucky.

For rainy days

Yesterday

“You have to be happy baby about everything our situation is what it is but life goes no matter what so better with a smile.  SO SMILE 😀 😀 :D”

“The day you make a decision, whatever and whenever that is, hopefully i can look forward to more than spending 1 weekend with you […] Because I “kenlee bedou bedout you” […] You have no idea… Opening the door i wish for you to be there.  Your dress is there.  I put down my keys.  Your hand writing is there.  I grab cold water in the fridge.  Your cake is there.  I go to the rest room.  Your stuff is there.  I watch tv sitting on the sofa.  Your hair is there.  I have a shower.  Your stuff is there.  I go to bed.  Your sweet smell is there… I don’t know if smiling or crying… I’m fataly in love with you.  I don’t want to go there because you are everywhere and i can’t hold you.”

Today

“I’m very sensitive and emotional seeing you leaving me breaks my heart every time. Not because I don’t love you anymore but because you are the woman of my life and you are not with me. So should not let me go distant because all I want is your affection and attention”