Looking after your other half

This weekend, N came back home for 4 days after being apart for the last 3 weeks. Last night, he spent the afternoon with my Mom, and I joined them after work in the early evening.

During dinner last night, my Mom said something that I believe made both him and I go quiet with thought and reflection upon ourselves. My Mom said that when you are with someone, you are each a half to a whole. You feel what the other feels. When he/she hurts, you hurt. When you hurt, he/she hurts. Therefore, if you do something to bring pain onto your other half, you are essentially inflecting pain upon yourself in the process. If you become angry at the one you love, you take a moment to take a breather. Only after you calm down, do you come back in with a clear heard. Don’t take every fight as though it is the end of the world. Don’t get stressed out and lose your mind. Go breathe, calm down, so you can think. If you attack and make the other unhappy, there is no way that you can be happy. By wounding the other, you are killing him/her and yourself. You need to be there to make each other happy. To help one another, to bring and keep your other up.

I know that it’s an obvious point, but you would be surprised at how many people forget this or need reminding. Perhaps it hit home for the both of us because it came from my Mom, and that we’ve been fighting often when apart. We didn’t talk about it, but I know he heard her loud and clear. Earlier, he had mentioned to her that he knows he can be a little much to me. I think he knows that this is the truth. There are things that I am taking right now because I believe that everything will be better when he comes back home. Once he comes home, he and I can focus our time and emotions on how to to move forward together, without pauses or plans as to when to meet up next. We’ll be a real couple, as we once were together.

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My 2010 Wish List

Towards the end of 2007, a few days before 2008 began, I wrote a wish list of what I wanted for 2008.  I had my heart severely broken and to get over it, my best friend helped introduce me to The Secret.  I started learning about the Law of Attraction and wanted to put it to use for my new life and a new me beginning once the clock struck 12 in 2008.  I don’t believe in New Years Resolutions, so instead wrote a “Wish List.”  I forgot about it soon afterwards, but from time to time, I would remember it in the back of mind.

Some time during the year, I went to look back upon it.  Several of the items on the list had come true, some hadn’t.  At the end of the year, more items had come true, but not all had.  That wasn’t the point of the list though.  It wasn’t for all my wishes to come true.  It was just to wish, and let it go.  Since then, I have written a “Wish List” a few days before the beginning of every year.

I know that having my wishes come true is both up to God, myself, and others.  I’m not a fool to think that it was completely God and luck, or that it was only my hard work.  It’s up to a myriad of factors coming together to make my wish come true.  That’s the mystery and beauty behind it.

The end of 2009 was no different.  I just took a look back on my list and here is a taste of what I found, in this order:

  • To be approached with good job opportunities and having them work out better than expected
  • To be loved madly, deeply, truly, faithfully, happily by my significant other with whom I feel the same with – To fall in love, but he loves me more
  • To be more specifically… For N to fall madly, respectfully, sweetly, deeply, unpossessively, irrevocably, faithfully, truly, regrettably, without turning back or without regrets, in love with me.  To need to be with me and have me in his life.  I would love for him to be my “the one” so I can stop searching, but I leave this to God.  I just ask for N not to leave me.
  • To have passionate and loving love making without regrets or catching anything
  • To have orgasms during love making
  • To be in love and to love without fear and/or regret
  • To travel overseas more than twice
  • To travel more, even for weekends and short trips throughout the year
  • To have all my loves last forever
  • To receive at least one bonus
  • To learn about investing and doing it successfully
  • To continue loving my job
  • To receive more international accounts to work on
  • To work with awesome client such as Mad
  • To look into ways to earn more money
  • To travel at least once overseas for work
  • To work on more photoshoots and TVCs
  • To continue being happy and passionate about life
  • To work on getting over my fear of needles
  • To be approached to work overseas for a legit job
  • Not to be redundant or unemployed
  • To be brave enough to get a blood test
  • To receive a job offer from overseas with a great package so I can move to work and live overseas with N
  • For N to propose to me, or be serious enough to
  • For N to be with me forever
  • To make/earn more money
  • To receive well paying job opportunities for N and my little “businesses’”

I had forgotten what I had written, so reading some of them again stopped my breathing a little.  The majority of them have manifested.  There are some that are on the way, and the remaining are the ones I’m confident about.

That makes me wonder.. should I take it as a hint to myself?  Is it a sign?

“To receive a job offer from overseas with a great package so I can move to work and live overseas with N”

Does that mean I should take the offer from Taiwan?  Am I supposed to move?  Is he my “The One?”

For rainy days

Yesterday

“You have to be happy baby about everything our situation is what it is but life goes no matter what so better with a smile.  SO SMILE 😀 😀 :D”

“The day you make a decision, whatever and whenever that is, hopefully i can look forward to more than spending 1 weekend with you […] Because I “kenlee bedou bedout you” […] You have no idea… Opening the door i wish for you to be there.  Your dress is there.  I put down my keys.  Your hand writing is there.  I grab cold water in the fridge.  Your cake is there.  I go to the rest room.  Your stuff is there.  I watch tv sitting on the sofa.  Your hair is there.  I have a shower.  Your stuff is there.  I go to bed.  Your sweet smell is there… I don’t know if smiling or crying… I’m fataly in love with you.  I don’t want to go there because you are everywhere and i can’t hold you.”

Today

“I’m very sensitive and emotional seeing you leaving me breaks my heart every time. Not because I don’t love you anymore but because you are the woman of my life and you are not with me. So should not let me go distant because all I want is your affection and attention”

What is the recipe for success?

I just read this from Blake Shelton and it gives me some confidence…

“Miranda and I have been together, it’s getting close to five years now,” he said. “We’ve had our good years and our bad years and our really bad years. But I think right now, she and I have a stronger relationship than we’ve ever had, even in the early times when it was new and exciting, it still didn’t feel like it feels right now. We’ve been through a lot together, and we’ve toughed it out. It’s exciting to me.”

“Probably for the first time I can realistically say, I can see us being together forever,” he added. “I can see us getting married one day, maybe, where before you would never have gotten me to say something like that. As far as I’m concerned we’re definitely closer than we’ve ever been to maybe taking that step.”

I guess because this level of seriousness is all new to me, I look for benchmarks to measure my level of confidence.  I know it’s wrong.  Every relationship is different.  But some of us are better students of other’s examples, some by experience.

I’ve always been one for experience.  Especially in the realm of amour.  But this time, the experience is jumping a stage or two, rather than running extra steps.  To uproot and to move, to follow someone who has shown you for ever in a few months.. this is the pinch of scary with handful of exciting, in a bowl of adventure.  The adventure bowl is getting grains of both ingredients.  Most of the time, it feels as though the hand is afraid to let go, allowing the pinch to become overwhelming.  The hand is getting tired, but doesn’t know whether it’s making the right decision or not.  Is this the stage where it’s better to follow the recipe book, or to wing it?  Being unfamiliar at cooking, and this dish, what if the mix isn’t right?  I know it’s all about learning by trial and error, but what if it the results are catastrophic?  I could burn my hand, reminding me of the pain of learning how to cook.

But then again, there is a reason as to why God gave me two, right?