Meeting the family

His family.

N and I are off to France and Portugal for 3 weeks (I’m soo excited to be able to spend so much time with him!). His sister in Coimbra just had her first baby last month making him a first time uncle, he needs to get a new passport, ID card, driver’s license which all need to be processed back home in Portugal, and he gets a week off for Chinese New Year. So all these things coming together, made this the best time to head there.

Portugal is where most of his family members reside. The only family member I’ve met is his beautiful mum. She’s just the second most lovely lady next to my mom ;), a true Mama. At less than 5 feet, on the rounder side, bright, constantly smiling, and is a happy soul. She speaks Portuguese, French and Spanish, but not a word of English. Luckily,vI took French when I was younger, but last studied it when I was 16. Needless to say, j’ai oublié beaucoup (I have forgotten a lot).

Nevertheless, we both tried our best to communicate as best as we could through my very broken, hardly existent rudimentary French. Even with the language barrier, we adore each other. She met my parents when she came to visit last year, and had a lot of fun with my mom (whose last French lesson was not too long before I was born). Mama and I even call each other for quick chats every so often to give each other bises (kisses), and at the end of our last conversation, she said “J’taime beaucoup beaucoup P” (I love you a lot, very much). I melted.

So Mama, love. Now I’m going to meet his father, sister, her husband, his cousins, his aunts and uncles. Level of nervousness is standard meeting-the-family level. The one family member I’m really nervous about meeting is his paternal grandfather. He pretty much raised N and has a huge influence over who he is today. To make it even more challenging, his Avô only speaks Portuguese, none of which I speak. Let that sink in.

N bought me a Teach Yourself Beginner’s Portuguese book, complete with 2 CDs which I have ripped onto my iPhone. Out of the 20 chapters, I’ve done 2 – Pleased to Meet You, and Where are you From? On top of that, Portuguese is nothing like French or English, so no shortcuts for me there either 😦

With a little more than a week to go, I don’t know how much more I can absorb. I’ll keep trying, but while there, I need to make sure I am accepted by his other family members so they can help pass on the good word 🙂 Overall though, I am really excited and nervous but rearing to go!

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Love in a text

“I’m realising that work it’s important but without you I have no balance anymore.  You are my soulmate and you are more important than anything else.  I love you.  With you I’m a much better person and I thank you for that, really” ~ N

N usually uses actions to show how much he cares, but on the occasion that he does write, I can’t help but melt  🙂

Happy 2012!!!

Mabuhay from the Philippines!! I’ve been here with N and friends for the past week. Five days in Manila and four days in Puerto Galera. Here’s the view of from our lovely pool villa on top of the hill (just to make you jealous)..

I’ll write more when I get back.  In the meantime, wishing you all an awesome 2012, full of love, laughter, and good health!!

I. Love. Food.

I’ve been a masochistic for the past 3 hours.  Inflicting painful self torture upon my growling stomach.  I’ve been surfing pictures of drool-worthy food on Pinterest, bookmarking recipes, constantly reminding myself of what I can’t eat.  A reason being my home kitchen closes after 8pm.  Bigger reason being that I can’t cook.  I know.  Shameful.  *hides quietly in corner*

I. Love. Food.   I. Love. Eating.

Love is really an understatement.  My life has been known to revolve around my stomach.  I don’t snack, but chow down during meal times.  I also have a confession that may make you hate me, even without knowing me (I think that will actually add onto the hatred).  I’m one of those annoying, almost-gravity-defying people, who can pretty much eat twice my own body weight without gaining a single pound.  I’m 163cm/5″4 and weigh 45kg/100lbs.  My biggest  feat (that I can remember) is eating 2 appetisers, followed by a 22oz steak (all meat, no bone), and having room for dessert (which I didn’t order because I had begun to freak myself out).  I have eaten to the point of throwing up.  Twice.  Science says I have high metabolism.  N is convinced I have worms.  The worm theory doesn’t really scare me.   I don’t get sick, I feel fine, nothing seems to be wrong with me health-wise (okay, except for high cholesterol).  We seem to have a endosymbiotic relationship.  Happy worms = Happy P  🙂

If you picture a heat-sensing missile searching and locking onto its target.  That’s me when I’m near food.  I have to find the biggest/yummiest/fullest/perfect piece.  I’m not rude when it comes to food though.  My muscles don’t reflex immediately to grab it (my parents have brought me up with manners).  I am a civil eater.  Although my friends and my love know to clear the path for me.  It takes a lot for, and out of me to share.  When I offer my Dad something, his first reaction is to say, “you’re either full or it’s not good.”  It’s sad, but true.  It’s more often the latter.

I haven’t always been a happy eater.  My parents will be the first to testify my aversion to food when younger.  They have to find ways to manipulate me to eat.  Seems like I am more than making up for all those meals now  😉

(Just in case I need to declare this somewhere: I don’t own any of these images, and got them all from Pinterest)

Fauchon Chocolate Truffles

My newest discovery today.

My coworker got a box from her client (I’d be lucky if my client even gave me feedback on time), and gave me one.  Not a fan of chocolate pieces, bars, candy, etc but thought I’d try one.

Oh. Em. Gee.

These are THE MOST amazing chocolates I have ever had the guilt-free pleasure of devouring!!

Want. More. Now.

I’m going to Paris next month so I’m hoping my lovely N will take me for some more  😉

Creativity on leave

A little annoyed at myself for my creative brain for being on hiatus for too long. Need to get myself back into reading, being inspired, and having the same passion for writing and expressing myself that I used to have. It isn’t uncommon for me to take a break from writing every once in a while, but it needs to stop, or at least become less frequent. I get angry at myself for losing the love and awe I have for words.

Come on inspiration. Clock yourself back in with passion.

Love in an Email

“I know that I’m not easy, not easy to understand, not easy to bear, not easy to listen to, etc… but you try to overcome all that.

I want you to know that is not in vain. At the end of each day when I close my eyes and I complain about everything and about how miserable my life is, a blink and I realize how lucky I’m to one day had met you, one thought of you by my side makes me forget everything, I just thing of you laying next to me every day for eternity and I fall asleep.

My only struggle is that I want you so badly. I want you next to me, I want to share my life with you, I want to share every day and every moment with you, I want us to grow together… right now. But I can’t, there’s nothing I can do to make it happen. FRUSTRATION< MADNESS.  I need to ear your voice, I need to smell your fragrance, I need to feel your silky skin, I need to make one with you.

That is the only thing that makes me go mad and create all kind of odd situation between us me wanting you by my side but not being able to. I don’t know how to deal with that, I’ve been spoiled, for few years I did and I got what I wanted when I wanted so this situation it’s very hard for me to handle. I’m sorry you are the one suffering because of it. I’m already breaking my promess to  always make you happy no matter what.

I’m so sorry for making your life difficult instead of making it easier and happier. I hope in time I’ll make it up for it, I’m not sure if you’ll be happy with me or if I can make of you the princess you deserve to be. One thing is sure, since the day I kissed you, you haunt my mind and heart, my only goal since then is to make you happy and being happy because I’m doing so. So far I’m failing, the distance is not an excuse, maybe my frustration, my weakness, my fears, my ghosts,… are a possible reason, but there are no excuses.

From where I come from my only hopes were to survive, to make my mother not worried about myself, my future, to quietly lead a hard life and survive. Instead thanks to a few people I manage to overcome my complexes and do better than survive for the time being… until the day I met you when I felt that the miserable person I’m/was, was becoming the luckiest person in the world. So since then I think that the end is near, I fear the day you won’t love me any more will be around the corner, I fear that you’ll  soon realize you made a mistake and you’ll see you deserve better than me (… and you definitely do), I fear you’ll meet the man you really deserve…

After almost one year my love still growing for you, instead of fading out. It’s the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. For long time I wish I could find the One person I could devote and dedicate my life to, the person that would be my motivation, my inspiration, my reason to be, my reason to settle down and think about the future, making a comfortable and healthy life, growing little angels, building the family I always dreamt of. And with you I found it, I feel so lucky and so greatful for that but every day that passes I feel and think you really deserve better than me, I feel that there is something wrong with the odds, I fear that soon the reason will take over taking you away from me, who don’t deserve you.

My life, my destiny is in your hands, it is all up to you. The place to be, the future the money, the soul, the heart… all. So think wisely, the choices I make and you make for me will write our future, don’t let it be but take it in hand. I’m yours.” — N