Distance

Loving him sometimes feels like Iā€™m about to hug a porcupine – blindfolded. I can’t tell whether the quills are up or down – whether he’ll prick me if I come close. It’s so sad that after 2+ years together, I still can’t read him. I wish we hadn’t been separated so early, for so long. There’s so much we could have had by now. It breaks my heart to think of how much we don’t.

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Make-up and me

This area is not my forte. I only know how to use the basic stuff – light brown eyeshadow, black eyeliner, black mascara (one coat), blush. Takes up 5-10 minutes of my morning routine before work. If I go out at night, I’ll use an eyeshadow that is 2 shades of a darker brown, apply my eyeliner slightly thicker, and try a little harder with my mascara (which just means making sure they are curled, and taking more time applying my first coat). I’d like to think I don’t need as much because my natural beauty radiates from the inside (*cut to readers gagging*).

My Mom on the other hand, is a pro. That doesn’t mean that she cakes on the stuff. She knows how to blend colours, apply highlights, use different brushes… Basically just a girl. My little sister is also equally as talented with cosmetics, which makes me wonder, what happened to me? I must have missed that little code in my DNA. I guess in order to get better, one must practice. But, I’m lazy. I would rather do almost anything else, instead of sitting in front of the mirror, playing. Part of the reason is because I don’t want to waste it, but the other part, doesn’t know where in the world to start!

(I’m lucky that N doesn’t like a lot of make up.)

Recently, I’ve been active on Pinterest, and I’ve suddenly become hooked on blue, turquoise, and white eyeliners. Here are some of the pictures I’ve been staring at from there :

I guess looking at them started a chain reaction in my XX chromosomes, and got me hunting for these colours. So today, I went shopping with my “personal make-up artist” – Mommy šŸ˜€ (A little note to say that I LOVE my Mom. She is my bestest best friend, and the most amazing woman I know). After visiting a few counters (blue eyeliner isn’t as common as you think), we stopped at M.A.C (perfect for colours), had some test trials, and bought these:

Look at those pretty colours šŸ˜€ I feel like such a girl. I feel like I’ve taken a little step into my adult heels, while still maintaining my 5-10 minute personal limit in the morning (I will not let myself become one of those women who needs to wake up earlier to get her face together).

(Just in case I need to declare this somewhere: I don’t own any of these images, and got them all from Pinterest and the M.A.C website)

I need a change

I hate my job. Okay, maybe “hate” is too strong a word, but there are times when I feel it’s an understatement. I work in advertising. Don’t get me wrong, advertising is an exciting, fast paced, action packed industry that young people should experience. Advertising and I have a love-hate relationship. At the end of it all, I’m really glad I started here. I really recommend it to fresh, young, (especially single), energetic people. No day is the same, and anything and/or everything can change from one minute to the next. If you’re one of those who likes a little spice in your life, advertising is perfect. If I was still single and had different clients, I think I’d still love it. You may think that at 29, I am still one of these “young people.” I’m not. Especially as I’m finding that priorities are changing from career, to ME. Advertising is like a child. A needy, spoiled child. It comes first before everything. You spend all your time planning, either following the rules or tweaking them with the intention of keeping the child quiet and happy. Just when you think you’ve given it just enough candy…

WAAH!!! Sugar high! You’ve given it too much! Now it won’t stop running around, screaming – either at things or you, or both.

Or, WAAH!!! The kid didn’t want purple candy today, it wanted the green and orange striped one! Now it’s throwing itself onto the floor, kicking and throwing a tantrum for everyone (especially the “elders”) to see.

Or WAAH!!! It was full with the candy, and wanted something else to do to occupy itself.

Or, one of the “elders” gives you another brat or two to deal with. WAAH!!! WAAH!!!

You may be rolling your eyes and shaking your head at me, but this isn’t hyperbole. The larger your client, the larger the snotty child is. Every so not-very-often does the advertising deity bless you with a child who has passed the terrible twos. I was absent when this blessing was given.

It’s almost 2:50am, and I’m at the studio. A dark room, starting at 3 screens, with two of my bosses, and I’ve been here since 11am. My big boss just said I’m going to be here until 6am. Did I mention I have to come back at 10am?

My enjoyment and passion for this industry has waned. The money (which isn’t a lot) isn’t worth all the pain, and doesn’t come anywhere near compensating for the healthy, happy, sane life I’m missing out on. An industry promoting products whose existence are based upon lies (I work on food. Not even the packaging is real sometimes). It doesn’t care about me, nor I about it. I want something bigger than a career in this industry. I want a life! My life! I want to be excited about going to work in the morning, to push for the best from others and myself every day, to go to work with a smile, and return home with one. I want to be able to plan my life. To leave when “normal” people leave work, and rest on the weekends. I’m not a doctor, so why should I be on call??

Advertising will always have a special place in my heart, but right now, I need to call a time out.