This weekend, N came back home for 4 days after being apart for the last 3 weeks. Last night, he spent the afternoon with my Mom, and I joined them after work in the early evening.
During dinner last night, my Mom said something that I believe made both him and I go quiet with thought and reflection upon ourselves. My Mom said that when you are with someone, you are each a half to a whole. You feel what the other feels. When he/she hurts, you hurt. When you hurt, he/she hurts. Therefore, if you do something to bring pain onto your other half, you are essentially inflecting pain upon yourself in the process. If you become angry at the one you love, you take a moment to take a breather. Only after you calm down, do you come back in with a clear heard. Don’t take every fight as though it is the end of the world. Don’t get stressed out and lose your mind. Go breathe, calm down, so you can think. If you attack and make the other unhappy, there is no way that you can be happy. By wounding the other, you are killing him/her and yourself. You need to be there to make each other happy. To help one another, to bring and keep your other up.
I know that it’s an obvious point, but you would be surprised at how many people forget this or need reminding. Perhaps it hit home for the both of us because it came from my Mom, and that we’ve been fighting often when apart. We didn’t talk about it, but I know he heard her loud and clear. Earlier, he had mentioned to her that he knows he can be a little much to me. I think he knows that this is the truth. There are things that I am taking right now because I believe that everything will be better when he comes back home. Once he comes home, he and I can focus our time and emotions on how to to move forward together, without pauses or plans as to when to meet up next. We’ll be a real couple, as we once were together.