France

The one thing that you need the most, that you aren’t able to have in a long distance relationship. I just spent 10 beautiful days with my sweetheart in France – Paris, Nice, and Vence, and one night in London.

He introduced me to his mom, his close friends – most from childhood, and the large French chapter of his life. Everyone was so warm and loved me from the moment they met me because I’m the only one who has ever made him smile the way he does 😀

Prior to my current relationship, I always thought that long distance forced both parties to know each other in ways they wouldn’t normally know each other. What I mean by this, is that you are forced to communicate. You are forced to talk. I thought talking was the only key to making it work. My Mom always stressed how important it is to speak to your partner. To express the things you like and don’t like, and to be open with one another. The only downside to being in a long distance relationship, was the lack of physical intimacy. However, communicative and emotional intimacy would compensate this. Physical attractiveness diminishes over time, but to be emotionally attractive to someone takes constant work and maintenance. I thought that talking was the secret to making it work.

Since being in my relationship, N is starting to show me a different perspective..

Although the distance allows you to grow communicativily (yes, I’m making it a word), it is very difficult to grow together as a couple. When you are together, you are able to use both verbal and physical expression to show the other your love. One action can mean a thousand words. Trillions of words can be spoken within a day of spending time together. You need to see each other other’s expressions, experience new sights and sounds as a couple, learn and talk about the things you are able to go through together. Not just one side talking, the other listening, then SWITCH, the listener talks and the talker now listens. There is more interaction taking place between you two when you are together than you would notice. It’s taken for granted because many of us are blissfully unaware of this. There is nothing wrong with that. You are able to enjoy and live the same moment together. Not just explaining it to the other.

There is a married couple that both my boyfriend and I know, who have issues from time to time – as couples do. A brief background – the first 2 years of their marriage was long distance. It is now that they are getting used to living together in the same apartment. During this time, although they talk and visit, they have grown apart in some ways. He is used to spending his Friday nights out with his boys, and she is used to spending her nights out with her gang of friends. Both know each other’s groups and have spent time with them, but from what we’ve heard, even though the husband likes his wife’s friends and enjoys spending time with them, every time she invites him out, she almost has to go to the bar to drag him out by his boxers to bring him out with her friends. Same with her and his friends (except perhaps not by her boxers). Time apart has affected their growth with each other as a couple. They are too used to living their own lives, but just coming together to share the nights and mornings with one another. That’s no longer sharing a life to me.

I’m happy. I’m grateful for every moment I have with him. Every moment allows us to grow even faster and deeper towards each other. I’m so lucky. For the first time, I really feel like I’m lucky in love ❤

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